"Breakfast Every Hour, It Could Save The World..."

My Computer crashed...The hard drive is shot. I need purchase a computer. I'm pretty clueless wehn it comes to computers i just know that i need it to be a good deal and good computer. I hate shopping for that kind of stuff. The sad thing is i need to do it soon. All of my school work for my grad work was on that bastard. So fist i will be purchasing an external hard drive that i will trying to down load all my stuff onto. It is very frustrating. The gateway man was as helpful as he could be. We'll see what happens. There goes my first paycheck. grrr....

So tonight was not a great night. I first went to the eagle which was dead and fairly uneventful. I saw a guy that i'd gone out to dinner with and it was quite apparent that he was over me. LOL Which is fine since i'm not all that invested in him but it was slightly irritating. I wish people would just be honest. "You're nice enough but i'm not that into you." Say that it is ok LOL or "Sorry, I'm a whore" thats works too. Though this night some guy wanted me to give him a bj in the underground . The guy was attractive but not that attractive. I was like no thanks. It was just odd. A guy earlier in the evening asked to kiss me and i said no thank you. He was very drunk and called me Shawn. LOL I wasn't ready at that point in the night. Maybe i'm too finicky. I probably should have blown mr random and made out with the guy who couldn't remember my name. But I didn't. I'm starting to think that Tom from ND was right. Maybe I should "ho" it up. I think my guilt would kill me but i'd be a whole lot less repressed. LOL

So I left in a semi foul mood because the night was a bust and there was no making out. LOL I got lost on the detour and ended up in Brooklyn Park. I was very stressed so I got back onto 100 s and made it home, barely. I don't quite know how i feel about my move. I trying to avoid getting homesick because when i do i get miserable and thats not fun. I'm trying to stay positive. :) We shall see.

I know this is fairly random but i thought I'd share my weird night

From TjBillo, my interview! This is a cool meme.

Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions of a very personal nature.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions



1) If you could meet any historical figure, anyone at all, and have dinner with them who would it be?

I would like to meet George Seurat. Part of me screams that I should pick William Shakespeare. I think it is too cliche'. Seurat had such a vision about him it would be so interesting to get to experience that with him. I think artist see the world through such lens that I can not even hope to grasp

2) Do you regret coming from Seattle to Grand Forks for your Master's?

That is a rough question. Partly I do because I miss home so terribly but on the other hand i feel like ND has been a growth period of my life. I have become a better me. On the other hand i think that i probably could have developed in Seattle as well. It is often bittersweet when I think about it.

3) What's your plan? ie, What do you want to be when you grow up? How do you want to develop professionally?

I want to be a Director of Housing, Residence life or Orientation. I definitely see myself working in the collegiate field. It is such a place of knowledge and growth how coul d i not love it. It is for me. I know that it is not the most profitable but I like it. I'm happy.

4) What do you look for in a guy?

I think I look for someone who gets me. Someone who is fun. They should be willing to try. They should find me irresistible of course.Someone i find attractive. I of course would like to be with someone i want to see naked and should want to see me in the same manner. I think on serious level, i also would like someone who appreciate me and makes me feel even more comfortable in my own skin. Also a person who listens to me and isn't afraid to let me be the center of attention once in awhile. I guess this is kind of tall order. LOL

5) If you could write your own musical theater play about anything, and you wanted the world to love and adore it, what would it be about?

I would like to a show about 3 different relationships.Same character though played by me..LOL One showing a relationship that unhealthy on the main characters side, one that is unhealthy form the supporting casts side and lastly one that works. I think some of the best musical songs come from a deeply emotional place and they can only do the emotion justice by singing it.

So this entry is about Emotional intelligence. I was thinking about this in the shower this morning. Gardner came up with the concept of multiple intelligences. He thought that more people were brilliant than our Concrete Sequentials. Sorry my linear friends. He had many dimensions of intelligence. One of them being emotional intelligence.

It is interesting to meet a person who is pretty smart, they think themselves as pretty evolved but they have a lack emotional intelligence. It is as if they don't get people. If they do think they get them than they are way off base or often confused by emotional outbursts and expressions. They don't often get the impact of their words. I think that this is always brings up the ideas of standardized testing. Standardized tests only reflect a Linear/sequental intelligence. Many people walk away from these experience thinking themselves as dumb when truely they are quite brilliant.

I have always considered myself to be a person with a pretty high EI. I don't always bide by it but I feel understand it. It confuses me when people don't get it. I think it is so common sense but i guess it is is not. A thought to mediate on for the morning i guess...

So the Gemini and Libra went to the bar. Let's just say it didn't go well. I personally think it was the last place they should've gone. Too many temptations. They are both social creatures and boy were they social. There is also an innate difference in how they saw the relationship. The Libra was looking for the one. The Gemini was looking for an experience. Though they are compatible they struggle in that area.

So i'm single. I'm really not quite sure how i feel about it. I find it very frustrating actually. I like to think that i'm worth more than this. I know i should be happy with myself as an individual, by myself which i am but part of me longs for something more.

I mean I think right now I'm not stressed or worried. I'm just being. Thats a good thing. Let all the crap process. It was interesting that usually when a relationship ends i become quite angry. I don't mean to obviously. I just push it away and it becomes resentment and bitterness. You know, healthy emotions. haha This time I'm not angry. I think I'm tired of trying to figure what went wrong. If anything did or if it was destined to be? It goes the show how important communication is. It also goes to show how two individuals who love to talk can still not communicate. It is interesting to say the least.

Well i move soon and thats something good considering the last couple of weeks have been quite rough. I'm ready for a change.

Lyrics for the song "I'm Still Hurting" from the musical The Last 5 Years. Amazing Song that I love.


CATHERINE
Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting

Jamie arrived at the end of the line
Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine
Jamie is probably feeling just fine
And I'm still hurting

What about lies, Jamie?
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you, Jamie
What about you

Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting

Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...

Give me a day, Jamie
Bring back the lies
Hang them back on the wall
Maybe I'd see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all

Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
That wouldn't speed the time
Once the foundation's cracked
And I'm
Still Hurting

10. Funplex- B-52's
9. Breakable Boys and Girls- Ingrid Michealson
8. Wow, I Can Get Sexual Now - Say Anything
7. Gravity- Sarah Berellis
6. You're So Last Summer- Taking Back Sunday
5. Sober- Kelly Clarkson
4. Chasing Pavements- Adele
3. Should Have Known Better- Nickel Creek
2. Cute without the E- Taking Back Sunday
1. I'm Still Hurting- The Last 5 years

Some songs that have been stuck in my head lately...if you don't know them YOutube them or itune them ...LOL

So I went to Minniapolis to visit my BF and go to Pride. It was an interesting weekend. I came the first night (thurs) and went to a BBQ. It was fun. I got to meet some people. Even his sister who i was excited to meet. I think when you meet a member of someone family you get a bit of a glance into them and their childhood. Thats important. I also got to meet an ex. He was sweet. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

The next morning The BF went to work and I got up after cleaning and puttered around on the internet than I got tired (I know it is sad! lol) and slept until 12 noon. I than went for food. I ate at Bad Waitress. It was ok. The Pesto on my sandwhich was unique but still a good experience. I than went to a museum in town and saw a great Greek/Roman exhibit and some Egyptian stuff that i was pretty interested in. I than came back to the Apt where i Playeda litte DS checked my e-mail and did computer stuff until he got home. We than went for 341's at the Eagle. It was interesting. Not what i expected at all. so many people who i would not expect.It was liek the club kids etc infiltrated. LOL We than went for dinner at a diner and came home.

We got up the next day after sleeping in. We headed to the booths by the lake. It was alot of fun. it was cool to see al the stuff i have heard about never got to see in person. I would have liked to look at a few of the booths a bit closer but just wasn't that important at the time. I got to meet two of the BF's friends and they were super great. We played WII after we were done with day. We than went to the Eagle again. It was very different this time around. I was quite intoxicated. I Was so agreeable. LOL it was good until we got back to the apart where than i decided it was a good time to ask question and explore my feelings with him. It did not go to well. I think i was a little two honest. My Libran tact flew out the window.

The next morning was rough. We both were hungover. Both unhappy. Both assuming things about the other. We did go breakfast at friends (of Thomas') which was fun. A Bad idea for me because it was crazy for me because i was so nauseated. I drank a lot of water. Which sounds like a great diet. LOL We than went and played Arkam horror at another friends house. It was fun. We had hot dogs. Also not great with my stomach but i had one because i knew i had to eat. I had really good time enjoying the company in all actuality. We came back to the apartment. On the drive home we chatted a bit about the previous night. I could tell that he was still upset about as was I but there wasn't enough room in the car for all those emotions so i just tried to be honest as possible about his questions/concerns. We got back to the apt and stopped talking. We played some wii and went to bed.

The next morning we got up and I came home. It is a little odd to be writing this from home. This was not how this weekend was supposed to go. Now there are many elephants in the room and i'm not a zoo keeper.

Gemini and Libra went into a bar how'd it go? It went. The Gemini and the Libra did exactly what they were supposed to do. They chatted, smiled , were quite social. They were entertaining for themselves, everyone else and each other. They also probably awe each other with their intellect and verbal acuity. Gemini may have invented the game but the Libra knows how to play and doesn ot fall for the clear cool intellect of Gemini. Libras are not puffy pink cloud of smiles and aesthetics they are a Chinese Puzzle Box. Gemini are experts at puzzles. The Gemini however are always looking for the next experience and Libra's are always on the prowl. Without fixity of purpose between them how can these two do anything but float away? These two constantly excite and aggravate each other for neither truly has the upper hand.

So this one should really be called chasing pavements 2. I'm in MSP. It is exciting. I'm filled with a little trepidation though. I really don't know whats going to happen. I'm not sure what this weekend will bring. I will try to stay as sober as possible but who knows. hehe I'm sure it will be a growing experience for all involved. I think this is really could be a weekend in which i get better handle on body image issue stuff. I perhaps will embrace myself. I mean i think we all love ourselves to a point. That is what keeps us thinking about ourselves, making sure we get what we need etc. I also see think that people gay men in particular have a certain amount of self hatred as well. I know this kind of sounds like a contradiction but I'm a Libra it happens. This self hatred i think leads to risky behavior and unhappiness with ones body and shame. There are other symptoms I'm sure. At least i feel we are constantly jockeying for position in our lives trying to make an impact. With all this extra baggage how can we?

another thought...

A Gemini and a Libra walk into a bar... what happens? Well according to my book a lot. They are verbal trapeze artists. Constantly releasing and catching one another. Is this what really happens? Gemini's are notoriously confusing. You are never quite sure where you stand them since they continuously change the game. They change their minds. They are beings of total flux. They childlike and innocent (in intentions) they want everything to be right for everyone while still serving number one first.

Libras on the other hand are a studying opposites and contradiction. If you say cold they flash warm in their mind. It is all very exhausting. With a Libra you have person who plays the game and wants everyone to come out in the middle. They it to be fairness and balanced. Yet horribly indecisive and inlcination for passive aggresiveness. They often seek to make everyone happy at the expense of themselves.

So are they compatible? They are. They must remember that words are not actions. They are just words and both of these individuals are mastermind PR agents when it comes to talking.

Something to think about.

So Pride is this weekend. I am quite excited. I ahve never been to Pride type festivities. I'm excited to see the parade and the booths, get some drinks , maybe buy some stuff liek my first piece of leather. hehe. It should be a great time. I must remember to keep myself in check though. I don't want to wander off. hehe

I do have to drive there. Which at first irritated me to no end but than i realized it was no big deal. The time would just fly by and I would be in a metropoliton area in no time. Very exciting. I also excited to get to try some new food etc. It should bea good weekend.

I"m sitting at work and i'm bored...

Another exploration of some really good songs.


10.Pike Place/Park Slope- Harvey Danger
9. How Soon is Now?- Love Spit Love
8. Sober- Kelly Clarkson
7. Dairy Of Jane (accoustic)- Breaking Benjamins
6. Makedamnsure- Takin Back Sunday
5. Black Boots- Paula Cole
4. Northern Star- Hole
3. Breaking the Habit- Linkin Park
2. Merman- Tori Amos
1. Fairy Tale- Sarah Berellis

They are kind of random but i enjoy them all right now

So life just got a bit more crazy. I just found out last night that my degree will not be conferred until the fall. I'm a little furious. And by little I mean livid. I totally had a freak out moment. I called my new employers and they said it would most likely be ok so that is good. I'm just very drained by it honestly. I was so stressed it wasn't even funny.

I saw the sex and the City movie. I enjoyed it honestly but the simple fact was the boom mics were able to be seen for part of the time. It was frustrating. It definitely sullies my view of the movie. It is quite sad because I was super excited about it. It did get my mind off the other stuff so thats good.

A friend of mine asked me to come to MN with him this Tuesday. I would have loved to do it but sadly i have to work. It is aggravating. It would have been great to go see someone and it would be nice to get out of Grand Forks but oh well.

Emotionally I'm kind of edge lately. It is a little weird. I find myself getting more agitated . I'm sure it will pass. it has got to. I thought about cutting diet coke out of my diet and then i realized i would be crazy person. All sorts of angry. LOL I know that it is unhealthy to drink as much as i do but i really enjoy it. lol

"Something wicked this way comes..."

So the BF came to visit me this weekend. It was pretty great. We really didn't do anything all that exciting. We just spent a good amount of time together which of course made me quite happy. I think I got him hooked on the first God of War game. It is fun so i see why he liked it. We watched a couple of good movies this weekend. We watched Titus, Into the Woods, and Camp. I enjoyed all of them. He was nice enough to watch camp with me. We spent so time with some mutual friends. They were cool and had us over for dinner. It was a goodnight. We played Rock Band and I got to sing Wonderwall and Roam which made my night .Things are quite good right now. They feel right.

Getting ready for Pride in a couple weeks so that will be fun. I have never been before so i'm interested to see what happens. Here's hoping i don't get too drunk. LOL I will be on my best behavior or maybe my worst. hehe.

So this week I am supposed to getting a ton done on my IS and internship. I haven't touched it yet. It is pretty sad really.I am however going to put my nose to the grind stone because I will busy this weekend. That's right I have memorial day plans. I know this is odd for me but it is true. I have a cute guy coming to visit me. No ulterior motives just to see me. I find it kind of crazy. :)

So I have been eyeing the gym lately. I haven't gone yet but I've given ita huge stare down. LOL I hope that i will get motivated soon. Hehe

Hmmm not sure what else to say.

10. Forgiven- Alanis Morissete
9. Totally Addicted to Bass- Pure Tones
8. Linger- Cranberries
7. Let your troubles roll by- Carbon Leaf
6. Stories- Trapt
5. Purple People- Tori Amos
4. Checkmarks- The Academy is...
3. Your Glasses- Maria Mena
2. Cut- Plumb
1. Merman- Tori Amos

4 minutes by Madonna is close as well. As is Toxic by Nickel Creek (cover obviously)

Hmmmm just felt the need to update :)

hmmmm

So i decided i hate my job even more than i did before. I asked my manager about get some days off next week. I didn't realize that there needed to be two weeks. No one ver told me. So I've decided fuck them and i'm gonna call in sick if i need to.. Simple as that. Who knows it might work out but i'm guessing not. They like to work me graves on the weekend and it completely bites. i've told them amny times that i dont' wanto t work those hours but they don't listen. Good thing my two weeks is going in soonly. Grrr I'll probably put it in sooner than i anticpated.i jsut can't stand being there anymore.

Oh well another rant. Hopefullythe next entry will be happier.

Simply,

Scott